SavannahSays.com

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Savannah Says - Advice no one should actually take! (Advice column parody. Humor and Satire for Women.)

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Savannah Lawless

Eschewing formal "credentials," Savannah Lawless has built a relationship advice empire based on her extensive real-life experience (including eight marriages to five men and countless failed relationships) coupled with a near-total lack of sobriety. When she's not sipping martinis on her patio, overseeing the operation of her sprawling New Mexico ranch, or jet-setting, Miss Lawless finds time to author books, including "Slap & Tickle: Putting Romance Back into Your Relationship." Her newest book, forthcoming in Fall, 2002, from Intentional House, is tentatively titled "For Love of Money: My Most Lucrative Divorces - How You Too Can Cash In when His Love Cashes Out."

Elizabeth Hanes

Elizabeth (left, with family cat Pixel) is Savannah's long-suffering personal secretary, companion (no, not that kind!), and webmistress. When she's not cleaning up the mess left over from one of Savannah's legendary parties, managing Savannah's writing empire, or hiding the key to the liquor cabinet (again), she manages to squeeze in time to contribute articles to Happy Woman Magazine and work as a copywriter.

Miss Lawless and Miss Hanes reside on a sprawling ranch in New Mexico, far enough away from Santa Fe not to be rarified but close enough to be hip.